Saij-Spellhart on DeviantArthttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/https://www.deviantart.com/saij-spellhart/art/Derpception-316481129Saij-Spellhart

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Derpception

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By popular vote i'm naming this Derpception. This was a commission i was paid to draw. So DO NOT use without permission.

Derpy Cloud fighting Derpy Sephiroth, while Derpy Aerith watches from afar. This takes place in Aerith's church. And yes that is a cart full of Muffins.

I drew this with pencil first, and then colored it with colored pencil. There is some charcoal in the back ground. Might clean this up a bit more later. Right now I am royally tired.

Please enjoy.

:cake:HAPPY BIRTHDAY :iconsmelther:! I hope you love this. I wanted to surprise you for your Birthday. So I uploaded it now. :huggle:


:bulletred:I Take commissions. If you are interested, just contact me.:bulletred:

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QTMarx's avatar
:star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

I haven't done a critique on DA before, and I hesitate to offer advice because I don't want to come off as a know-it-all or to put anyone's nose out of joint. But you seem interested in feedback and I really believe I can offer some constructive criticism that might be of some use to you.

First of all: nice work. Colourful, expressive, eye-catching, and you've put a ton of work into it. You have a strong grasp of shading and the techniques for realizing it in your chosen medium. The textures on the masonry and the wood planking in the floor in particular are striking. The effort you put into the stained glass window's design over the door is pleasing.

I'm especially impressed with the Dutch tilt you've put into the piece. It lends the work an air of immediate disquiet, even without the violent action, and it's a gutsy and unusual angle that shows you've put some real thought into what you're trying to express here.

I can see that you've got a believable horizon line established via the open door. That's good. I think you should make better use of it. It's very clear you're working hard to convey perspective but in some places, you're working against yourself. I get the impression you want to suggest a vanishing point but you're not actually working with one. For instance, the angle of the floor boards to the upper left of the kneeling pony don't fade to the same vanishing point as the planks in the foreground, but towards one somewhat to the right of it. It's not a huge discrepancy but it's noticeable. The strongest element working against the uniformity of the perspective is the masonry of the wall running parallel to the pews on the left side. They don't seem to fade to any particular vanishing point and it makes the wall look as though it's not angled to close the room. The rings supporting the pillars in the wall are above the horizon line, so we should be seeing their undersides, not their tops. The most important thing to remember about a horizon line is that, in general terms, it marks the height of your viewer's eyes in the scene. Anything below it, we see the top surfaces of; anything above, we see the bottom.

What I would suggest would be to take a sheet of very thin paper and tape it lightly to this drawing. Using a ruler, lightly draw your horizon like across the onion paper (I'd say use the ground line outside the door about where the buildings meet it). Then place a mark on it about where it meets the closed door in the middle of the doorway. That's about where the vanishing point of your strongest element, the foreground floor boards, is suggested. Put some tick marks, all the same distance apart, where you feel each row of your masonry bricks would meet the back corner wall of the church (I think where that black line is in the corner, the one partly covered by the middle pony's tail). Now use the ruler to draw lines from the vanishing point through each one of those ticks, and they'll guide you in how to fade the masonry on the wall believably at right angles to the back wall. You can use the same technique to line up the floor boards, the support rings on the pillars, and the pews. Remember, too, that the columns of the bricks will become increasingly foreshortened the further from the viewer they are. If you have Photoshop or the like, it's even easier to do this, at least to see what I'm getting at.

I'm not sure what's going on with the pew on the right hand side. It's not in line with the set on the left. It looks to me like it's been torn from the floor and set at an odd angle. Maybe that's the effect you were after. But if not, it should line up with the floor boards. If, for example, the front left is correctly placed, then at this angle we should be seeing just a little bit of the outside of the pew, since it's on the far side of the view's vanishing point. The backrest and seat should also line up with the backrest and seat of whichever pew on the left it's in line with. Generally, we should expect to see a matching pew on the right for each one on the left in this view.

If you really want to go for broke, you could apply a little perspective to the elements of the back wall as well. The far corner is a little bit further away from the viewer than the door and the elements behind the kneeling pony, so you could make the line slant a little lower on the right to suggest that. It would mean that your door is not perfectly rectangular (the right side would be slightly longer than the left) and it would change the shape of the windows as well, but it would enhance the effect you're working so hard for here.

After that, just a couple of minor things. The broken planks on the floor don't seem to have any thickness to them. You could add just a little dimensionality to them to give them some suggestion of thickness. You might consider adding some windows to the wall on the left, but you don't strictly have to and I know that's a lot of work. Just an idea. One last old animation technique I can offer is to vary the line width on your characters. You don't have to do it by much; maybe a double thickness on the undersides of things... throat, belly, hooves, tails... it's kind of a shorthand that tells the eye of the viewer, almost unconsciously, that there's extra "weight" on the down side of such strokes, and it helps convey mass, gravity, heaviness, and keeps the line from looking static and helps avoids the characters seeming flat.

You've done a lot of good work here and you have a lot of strong skills already you can build on. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)"/>